Longing
by WildWolf7
Summary: Lightning has lost Serah and she's determined to get her back. But why does this girl, Vanille, remind her so much of Serah? Slight AU. Pseudo-Farroncest.


**Title:** Longing  
 **Pairing:** Lanille (Lightning/Vanille), Farroncest (Lightning/Serah)  
 **Rating:** M for language, smut, implied sisterly incest  
 **Words:** 3,720  
 **Song Inspiration:** None  
 **Prompt Request:** "Lightning misses her little sister."  
 **Summary:** Lightning has lost Serah and she's determined to get her back. But why does this girl, Vanille, remind her so much of Serah?

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own the characters in this fic.

 **A/N:** So I took a lovely trip down memory lane a few days ago back into the FFXIII Kink Meme (which is still open thank the heavens). I went through the entire thread and picked up a bunch of prompts that I'd be interested in writing. This little fic is one of them. I'll most likely be doing more in the future.  
In any case, this fic is an AU taking place **during** the events of XIII in which _Vanille_ has followed Lightning out of the Vile Peaks, not Hope (which should have happened imo). I hope you guys like the fic and please let me know if you do or would like to see something else. Enjoy!

* * *

Blazefire Saber rips through a feral behemoth with a thunderous jolt of electricity. The beast cries out, an agonizing bellow ripping from its maw as it collapses on the ground and dies in a pool of crimson blood.

Lightning sighs and falls to her knees. Blazefire digs into the ground beside her, supporting her weight. Her vision blurs. It's hard to see, and even more difficult to stand. Her hand clutches her ribs, an injury she's been hiding for the past day or so. She wants nothing to do with her companion, not after the confession that sent her barreling further into the Gapra Whitewood, trying to block everything out of her mind.

Lightning releases a ragged breath and shakes her head, trying to clear her vision, but to no avail.

"Lightning!" an accented voice calls out.

"Stay _back_ , Vanille."

Vanille wants to help, she can tell, but Lightning can handle this. She's taken care of herself before and this time is no different. She conjures up a Cure spell in her hand. It's weaker than normal, she notices, and she clicks her tongue. Better than nothing. She applies it to the wound. It burns, but the pain dulls.

Vanille's footsteps creep behind Lightning. "I don't need your help, _Vanille_." Lightning brings her foot forward to stand. It takes her a while to, but she does. It's an accomplishment, and if she keeps going, she knows she'll be fine. Vanille comes into view. She ignores Lightning's demands, and it makes Lightning's blood boil. She won't admit, but Lightning feels too weak to address it.

"Lightning, please. Let me see it. I can help."

"I don't… need your help," she repeats. She can almost see Serah standing in front of her, arm outstretched. Serah needs her. Lightning has to be strong. She's already fucked up once and she _cannot_ let it happen again. Serah _needs_ her.

The figure in front of her shifts between Serah and Vanille. She doesn't know who's standing in front of her now. She blinks a few times, and her eyes make out Serah before her. "Serah" stomps the ground once and scrunches her face up in anger.

"Lightning, stop bein' so stubborn and let me _help_ you!" Vanille's voice assaults her ears, and the figure changes back.

She doesn't have a response, just a pure longing to see her sister alive and well again. Lightning falters. She's losing her balance and her sanity. She falls. Slender arms wrap around her, holding her up. She's supporting almost none of her weight; she can't. The faint smell of wilderness catches her nose. It's not… Serah, but it smells fresh and exciting with a hint of determination. Everything that encompasses her beloved sister.

Lightning mumbles into the struggling body beneath her as her consciousness fades. "Serah…"

* * *

"Poor thing. Doesn't help bein' so stubborn. This wound's almost infected."

Lightning stirs at the light voice. Her eyes meet a kneeling Vanille right at her side before scanning the area. The behemoth is nowhere to be found. In fact, they've moved places entirely. She doesn't recognize this part of the Whitewood and scrambles to get up.

Or she would, if Vanille didn't push her back down. The girl's stronger than Lightning assumed, and Lightning growls at being handled so easily. Damn her injury.

"Stop it."

Lightning shirks back at the command. It sounds like Serah for a split second. God knows she'd be pissed that Lightning allowed herself to get this hurt. She remains where she is.

"You're _really_ stubborn, you know. I told you earlier I can help you. Just trust me, please." Vanille wipes the scowl off her face to focus on Lightning's ribs.

Lightning winces at the contact. It's now she notices her vest is gone, folded up next to her on top of Blazefire's case. The maroon sweater is pulled up on one side, revealing the gnarly gash over her ribs. Her back rests against something hard, maybe a tree. She scans the area again, and there's no immediate danger to worry about, whether wildlife or soldiers. They're safe for a spell. She relaxes.

"No lyin' back now. I still have work to do. Bear with me."

Lightning nods. She watches Vanille prepare some type of… _whatever_ , in front of her. It's a sickly and dull green and Lightning turns up her nose at it.

"What is that?"

Vanille doesn't look up. She's mixing it together with a slate-grey stick that resembles the remnants of a behemoth's horn. "It's an elixir. Well, a knock-off. Not as strong as the real deal, but still works. I learned how to make 'em back in Oerba. You're _supposed_ to drink the real one, but this one works on contact too."

Lightning grunts. "What's it made of?"

"Ground up behemoth claws and teeth, a bit of behemoth saliva-" Lightning scrunches her nose at this. "-and some herbs I usually keep on me for times like this. Oh, the saliva's got some _nasty_ bacteria in it-"

"And that's going on _my_ ribs?"

" _But_. The herbs will neutralize it. You'll be fine. Don't worry. I've done this plenty of times."

Lightning feels like shit, quite honestly. Her head aches, her side hurts like hell, and she's exhausted. She has no choice _but_ to trust her. "Fine. Just don't kill me. Gotta see my sister at least once before I die."

A quick smile flashes across Vanille's face before it disappears, replaced by lowered eyes and bit lip. Her expression reads that of guilt, and Lightning wants nothing more than to address it. But it isn't the time. Not yet.

"Your muscles are shredded. I have to fix them before I put the salve on. It's gonna hurt a _lot_."

Lightning nods and braces herself, hand digging into the ground.

Vanille summons a Cure spell. "Just breathe. It'll be okay." She concentrates the spell into two fingers and bring them just above the wound, marking a slow trail downwards. "Why were you hiding this from me?"

Lightning hisses. "Oh, shit, _shit_. Ahh… fuck." The Cure twists and wraps her insides together, tightening them. "How'd you… know… I was hiding it?" Lightning screws her eyes shut for a minute. The burning at her side intensifies until she wants to cry.

"Shhh, it's okay. I know it hurts. It's okay." Vanille's fingers drag along the line of Lightning's ribs. "Oh! Oh, dear…" She stops.

The break gives Lightning a moment to rest and catch her breath. "What? What's wrong?"

"It's- your ribs. Two of 'em are broken. Well, _cracked_ , really. But. I can help 'em heal faster."

Fuck. She can hear Serah's berating voice in her ear. Doing too much, being too reckless, acting too stubborn. It's Lightning's fault she ended up in this predicament. Vanille's not to blame. She's only trying to help.

Vanille starts up Cure again and continues, snatching a sharp gasp from Lightning's throat. "Ya know. We l'Cie. We heal faster than normal people. Way faster. But not when we're fatigued."

Lightning figures. The pain is returning but beginning to dull. It still hurts, but she'll survive.

"I just fixed up the fracture, but it's still weak. You're gonna have to be really careful not to aggravate it the next couple days."

Lightning winces at one final tug on her muscles. "How long's it gonna take to heal?"

Vanille's just about finished. She hasn't completely closed the wound, but it isn't as mangled and bloody as before. Her touch lingers, though, gliding across Lightning's non-injured ribs and down her waist.

Lightning sighs at the touch. She's confused but likes it. It's familiar. "Vanille?"

"Hmm? Oh! I'm sorry. Sorry!" She retracts her hand, blushing.

She's cute, Lightning affirms, the type of cute stemming from innocence and constant worry. Much like… Serah. Lightning's heart flutters at the comparison. But no. Vanille isn't Serah.

The flush creeps up Vanille's neck to color her cheeks and ears. "Uhm. Sorry. I- You should be fine in a few days. J-just. Don't overdo it, yeah? And let _me_ heal you. Don't try to heal yourself." Her voice grows stronger with every word. "Here, we have to put the salve on, remember?"

Lightning doesn't press the issue. She watches Vanille mix the elixir once more. The flush is leaving her face now, but it lingers in Lightning's mind. Serah looks and sounds the same when she's embarrassed, all stuttering and blushing mad. Lightning smirks, but it dies just as Vanille turns again.

"This is gonna sting a bit, but you'll feel better soon. It'll kill any risk of infection and help you heal faster. I'm gonna have to change it every once in a while, though."

She can live with that, so long as she's near 100% as soon as possible.

Vanille holds the salve ready. She coats two fingers in the elixir and rubs them on the gash. The mixture is cold and biting to the touch, and the sensation reminds Lightning of peppermint. It stings, sure enough, but the pain isn't as bad as the concentrated Cure from before.

"You're fidgeting. Hold still."

Lightning obeys. It's not much longer before Vanille takes her final swipe over her ribs. At long last, the process is done, and Lightning sighs in relief, shutting her eyes. A constant, dull ache sets into the area, but she'll take that over the pain any day of the week.

"There! All done. How do you feel?"

"Not dead, so that's good."

Vanille chuckles before her face drops again. "It's late, I think. We should stay here for the night?"

They would have to. Lightning's barely in any condition to move far. Vanille could easily backtrack to the behemoth and use it for food, wherever it was.

"We should."

Vanille sighs, relaxing in her seat next to Lightning. She seems troubled and maybe wants to say something as Lightning notes from her lip biting. Serah does the same thing, so Lightning is only assuming.

"Lightning?"

Lightning shakes her head. "Call me Light."

"Oh! Well. _Light._ " Vanille smiles at the usage of Lightning's shortened name. "Are you… are you still upset with me?" The smile dissipates, and she plays with her fingers in her lap.

Leaning her head back on the tree, Lightning sighs. She's upset at the incident, no doubt. But at Vanille? She doesn't know for sure.

"I can't tell."

"What do you mean?"

Lightning turns, locking eyes with Vanille. _Same eyes and everything._

"I want to be upset. I do. And… I am. To a degree. But…"

Vanille tilts her head. "But?"

"I can't. I can't be mad. Not for this long. Serah. She… she wouldn't want that." Lightning heats up.

Vanille brings her hand to her mouth for a second before dropping it and looking down. "I just… I feel _so_ bad. I didn't mean for any of this to happen. I really didn't-"

"Van. It's fine."

 _Gods, did I just nickname her?_

Vanille doesn't seem to falter at the name. Lightning continues. "I don't care what it takes. I'm going to see Serah again. I will."

"Okay. Okay, Light. I'll help you. It's the least I can do."

"Thank you. I'm sure Serah would like that."

Vanille smiles wide. She pokes at the ground before speaking again. "I know you were hiding that wound from me. Why?"

Sudden subject change. Hmm.

"Just… being me, I guess. Serah. She… she used to yell at me for getting hurt at work. She meant well, I know. But, I didn't want her to worry. So I dealt with the injuries myself."

Vanille frowns. "You shouldn't do that. That one almost got infected. It's going to scar as well."

Serah going to scold her about the scar, but at least there's no infection. "Lucky it didn't, I guess. She always took care of me. Just like you did now. With a lot more scolding, of course. Thank you. For helping."

A blush marks Vanille's cheeks again. "It's no problem. You know. I'm a lot more perceptive than you think. You've had that since yesterday. After our fight with the last behemoth."

Lightning clicks her tongue. Vanille hit the nail on the head. Seems she's underestimated the girl. "You're right. Nicked me in the side with its claw when I was trying to dodge it. Hurt like a bitch, too."

"I have- _had_ , a friend. We used to hunt behemoths together on occasion. For food, ya know? She got injured by them a few times, so I definitely know they hurt a lot. I'm just glad it wasn't worse. They're tough."

"Yeah." Indeed they are, but Lightning's faced them before. No trouble. First time for everything, she guesses.

Silence looms between them for a spell. The sounds of wildlife echo in the distance, with behemoth and wolf howls quieting the cries of native birds and others lower on the food chain. Lightning admits the sounds fill her with dread. She's heard them before, but without an entire squad watching her back, she feels like another wary prey waiting to be hunted. Vanille, in contrast, doesn't seem fazed, just wistful, like she's in thought about something again.

Vanille perks up in seconds, staring at Lightning. "Light?"

"Hm?"

"You really miss Serah, don't you?"

The question drops Lightning's heart into her stomach. It seems out of left field, but considering how much she's mentioned Serah, she isn't surprised.

"I do. I miss her a lot, Vanille. A lot. We… had a huge fight the last we spoke. It was about her being l'Cie and… getting engaged."

Vanille winces at the reveal. "Oh."

"I was confused about the l'Cie part. But… I'm mostly mad at her for… for choosing _him_." The last part is whispered, but to her dismay, Vanille catches it anyway.

Vanille leans forward to listen. "Snow?"

Lightning realizes her mistake and scoffs. "Forget I said anything _._ "

Vanille doesn't drop it. She sounds intrigued more than confused. "You miss her. More than you're letting on."

Lightning's throat constricts, and she turns her head. She swallows hard. This wasn't the time to cry. Not fucking now.

"Oh, Light." Vanille crawls towards her, leaning her head on Lightning's shoulder.

The forwardness makes Lightning want to pull away, but sudden movements might aggravate her healing wound. Still, the touch and warmth is… welcome, so to speak. Something she hasn't felt since before her altercation with Serah and Snow.

Vanille takes her hand, lacing their fingers. "It'll be okay. I know it will. But, please. Don't get stressed out. That makes your brand progress. You wouldn't want to turn Cie'th before you saw Serah again, right?"

"Cie'th?"

Vanille's hands are smaller than hers, about the same size as Serah's, maybe more so. "They're monsters. They're what happens to l'Cie who don't complete their focus. You don't want that to happen."

"No. I don't."

"I'll help you see Serah again."

Lightning doesn't respond. She can't. Not without choking up. It hits her hard, not being able to see Serah. Not her smile, her face. Hear her voice and laughter. None of it. Vanille squeezes her hand, and they sit in another round of silence.

Lightning finds herself drifting, trying hard to ignore the throbbing at her ribs. Vanille releases her hand, and Lightning looks up.

"Lightning."

"What?"

"I… I wanna help." She caresses the edge of Lightning's hand. Lightning doesn't pull away. "If I can."

Lightning's all ears.

Vanille bites her lip; Lightning wants to smirk. "Maybe I can. Help you. Uhm. Help you… remember her?"

Lightning stares at Vanille. She didn't notice before, but her eyes are green, bordering on emerald, with subtle golden flecks dotting the edges. There's freckles dusting her cheeks and shoulders, along with a creeping blush aiming to accentuate them.

Vanille turns away. "I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. I just-"

"You did. You did mean it like that. You aren't wrong."

Vanille did confess that she's quite the perceptive one. No lie there. Still. The request haunts her as Vanille plays around at her sides and abdomen. Would this even be okay? Would… would Serah even _care_? God, she misses her _so_ much.

"We don't have to." Vanille seems sure of herself despite her words. Her touch grows bold as she leans in.

" _Please_ …" She needs to. Needs to feel _something_.

Vanille leans in, knocks her foreheads against Lightning's. "Okay." And Vanille pushes forward, securing a kiss and putting Lightning on edge.

The contact makes Lightning soar, pushes a million and one memories through her head. For a split second, it's Serah caressing her lips and pushing her tongue in, not Vanille, and Lightning just sighs and relaxes into the touch. Vanille pulls away, and the guilt tugs at her heart.

Lightning looks away. It's not Serah, not Serah at all and-

"Shhh… It's okay. Tell me what to do." Vanille plays at her hand again.

Lightning swears under her breath. This isn't normal. She shouldn't _want_ this, but fuck it, she's desperate, and Vanille feels and acts _so_ much like her sister. She pulls Vanille in again and savors the caress of Serah's lost lips on hers. Vanille moans into the touch, squeaks as Lightning grasps her lip. A little off, not perfect, but close enough to the real thing. Lightning shudders.

Vanille clambers in her lap, taking one hand in hers. "You can touch me, you know. Don't be shy. I'm all yours."

Fuck. All hers, huh? Serah used to say the same, right in her ear, right in the crook of her neck. Without much moving, Lightning marks a trail up Vanille's sides, raising gooseflesh beneath her fingertips. Vanille shakes with a sigh, and leans forward. Vanille smells different, that's for sure, but nothing that deters Lightning. In some ways, it makes her desire more. She doesn't want to mull over the details; she'll get lost in them, wondering why they aren't close to what her body has etched into memory. She wants to ravage and be done, just get the edge off.

Vanille sees through this. She whines and pulls Lightning up for another quick kiss. "You can take me if you want."

Guilt strikes Lightning again. She's manipulating this girl, using her as a means to cope for her fucked up relationship. How fucked is she? Vanille stares down at her expectedly, waiting for her to make a decision. She knows what the right one is. Or _is_ there even a correct decision? Is there any such thing as correct when she's substituting the taboo for a tryst just as screwed? And why is Vanille letting her do this? She must be some kind of martyr, sacrificing herself and her dignity to appease someone she barely knows. That's… that's _not_ Serah. Not at all. But did it really matter? She's a temporary _replacement_ , and Lightning. Lightning just fucking misses her sister.

So who cares? Not Vanille. Or maybe she does, caring just enough to help. Does Lightning care? Does Lightning care about anything or any _one_ except Serah? Not really. Vanille must know this. She _has_ to.

"Maybe it'll be better if you close your eyes." What a fucked up suggestion, but Lightning does it anyway.

It helps. There's a hand on her cheek, and she imagines it to be Serah's, caressing her, shushing her, telling her everything's going to be okay, and she'll see her again. She succumbs to another eager kiss and this time puts force into it, savors it. Serah kissed her just like this, with this much passion and fervor, and if she concentrates hard enough, she can almost taste her strawberry lip gloss. Fuck, it's almost too much. Her eyes sting with the burning of fresh tears, but they're kissed away before they mar her cheek. She's shushed. Vanille grazes her ear and whispers.

"Better?"

Lightning nods. She reaches up but winces at the sharp pain in her side.

"Careful, Light."

Warm, caring, chiding. Just like… Serah. Lightning can't wait any longer.

She flips her hand under Vanille's- _Serah's_ skirt. Feels around. Caresses her thigh. Elicits a moan. _Fuck_ , that noise. So sweet. She relishes it, can't wait. Lightning's thumb brushes the nub from outside Serah's panties. She earns a deep moan, and Serah arches into her. Lightning pushes the panties aside. Serah's wet, eager and waiting. Lightning slides two slender fingers in easily. Just two. Serah likes two.

Before long, Serah grinds on top of her, moving her hips to meet Lightning's thrusts. She keeps up well enough, not perfect, probably lost in her own trance. No matter. Her movements are quick, deep, rubbing against Serah's spot. Serah moans at that, and Lightning smirks.

Serah wipes the smugness off her face with a dominating kiss. Very much her, down to her lips. Lightning can't take any more, just wants Serah to reach the pinnacle of her orgasm on Lightning's fingers like she always does.

Lightning slows her thrusts, focuses on rubbing that spot that Serah loves so much. Every caress sends a sharp jolt through the body on top her. Serah bucks, breathes hard, pants, grips the collar of Lightning's sweater. She clenches around Lightning's fingers, squeezes them hard. A small scream begs for release but is suppressed from Serah's teeth digging into Lightning's neck.

Lightning's finger are wet and slippery, soaked when she pulls them out. She brings them to her lips, tastes them, before she's interrupted by a tongue eager to taste as well. The flavor differs from _her_ Serah. It's not bad, actually quite good, and she can see herself getting acquainted with this new and interesting tang.

The voice at her ear sounds out of breath and tired. "You feel better?"

Lightning opens her eyes, and Vanille stares back at her, innocence showing in half-lidded eyes. Lightning does, if only for a moment, before another pang of guilt stabs her. It doesn't last long as she realizes that Vanille is okay with this. Maybe she can be too. At least until she has her sister back. They share another heated kiss as Vanille climbs off her lap. She rests her head on Lightning's shoulder, fingers wrapped in Cure dancing around the sore and aching wound.

Vanille isn't Serah, will never _be_ Serah, but she'll do just fine. For now, at least.


End file.
